Kickin' Rocks

with Don Pennington

Flamed Lawn Mowers and Sprinkly Epoxy Floors

Time goes on, And things change. Not really a new thought, but it is happening because that's how things go, time goes on and things change. If you started building a hot rod roadster back in 1960, chances are that your interests have changed a bit since then and the 1960 hot rod now has a few pieces of billet attached. If you are the one in a million that is still working on the rod you have owned for forty plus years (or another one that looks just like the first one, which you sold for 200 bucks when the first rug rat appeared), the "changing thing" may not have hit you yet. You are one of those lucky people that never open the garage door because there is a pile of perfectly good stuff stacked up against it, inside and out. You may never go outside again and see what has happened in the world, kinda like an Alcatraz Lifer that has been let out after five decades, looks around... and goes back in. Most people go out at least once a week, some more often, I'm told, and kinda sway with the changing times, little baby step changes until your old 1960 hot rod idea has evolved into a block of billet, you don't know how it happened, it just did, time changes things.

This whole damn world seems to have become a series of "systems", your mortgage is plugged into a financial system that puts a loaded gun to your head to buy insurance to protect the bank's investment in your property, if they are so damn worried about you burning the joint down why did they loan you the money in the first place? The individuality of the mom and pop corner grocery store is almost gone. This time changing deal is only noticeable by those of us that have been around long enough to remember mom and pop and their creeky wood floors with what seemed like a thousand different kinds of candy covering the wall behind the cash register, for you "dudes" that have never been in one of those stores, too bad, you really missed out. Used to be that you could go to a fast food joint and walk directly up to the counter, order your burger and they brought it to you when it was ready. Now... you serpentine through a mile or two a snakie chrome pipe to get to the counter, order your burger (that part is still the same) then stand around until they get it ready, or worse they yell out a number, like a drill sergeant ordering you to get the hell up here and pick up your chow! This is not to mention that they give you an empty cup and make you to fill it yourself, then when lunch is over they expect you to throw out your own trash! What the hell is going on? This is not evolution of a good idea, it's... I don't know what it is... except it's just wrong.

We can't stop the calendar but we can refuse to play the chrome-pipe-maze-game. I guess the skill factor here is to control how the changing times change you. If your idea of a real hot rod is set in 1960, then 1960 it is! Draw the line in the sand! Some things need to stay on your side of the line, while others can scooch across a little, it's okay, it's your rules, move with the punches and change when you see fit. It's all about building your car the way you want it and the rest of the world can go "make water" up a rope (thank you Morgan Freeman).

So the light has been turned on, it may be a 40 watter hanging from a cord swaying in the darkness with one of those pull chains attached that always seems to be an inch too short, but at least there is a light. You have decided to be your own person, no matter what the billet monger ads tell you to do. The first thing you have to do is go stand in the middle of your play room (commonly know to the real world as a garage), look around until you focus on something that really seems to be out of place. In my case it was in the tire rack, there was this new radial (not sure how I ended up with ONE tire) sitting proudly next to a pair of new Inglewood slicks. This is wrong. The new stuff must be put somewhere else, maybe give it away, at least throw in out in the yard and call it yard art. The wife will like that you are getting involved with the garden.

Times changing also means that people change. Most stray a little, but stay pretty close to the chalk line we drew on the road when we were five or so. But some have left the fold, they have been caught megamoney-I've got more stuff than you do-eyetus. Collecting stuff is cool of course, but some guys make it a game, or a scoreboard, and they never let you forget who they think is in the lead. Now before we start pitchin' on these guys let me say that even though they are everywhere, (bigger numbers than you realize)... nobody we know is one of these guys, so the disclaimer is in place. These guys have painted shop floors, not with paint but $50 a gallon epoxy and colored sprinkles like some gay guy donut, and they are sure to give you a blow-by-blow description of how it was applied, every time you walk on it. They also have their keepers in glass cases, the shop ceilings are sheet rocked AND textured, they have at least two car lifts, and there are more show quality cars lined up than they have tools to work on them. Somewhere in the past these guys were crawlin' around on the garage floor just like you and me, be times change and people change.

Even the best of us stray from the true hot rod road every once in a while. With a couple of hot rods in the background our attention has been distracted... we are now flaming garden tractors and adding Briz bumpers and cutting down Moon discs to make it look cool. We are still doing hot rod stuff in the ways of days gone by, but on different stuff. Mask it up, spray on the blended white to yellow to orange to red, rub it out, stripe the edges, and add some speed decals.  Definitely not the 1960 hot rod, but the hot rod of the day nonetheless, and we get just as wired as we did back them. "Man this is going to be the coolest lawn mower in history... I'll bet nobody else has one of these".  It could be that nobody else wants one... nope... not possible... if we think it's cool... it must be cool... we think. Times change and people change, but it's up to us to keep things in place and hold the line on what we think is the real deal. Gotta go now, just picked up an umbrella with giant Mooneyes logos last used at Bonneville in 1960, gonna bolt it to the side of the 55 horsepower, 96 inch cutting deck, dual rear tired flamed lawn mower, got my "Kookie" shades and a tall cool one and heading for the lawn. Used to be we'd spend the day at a swap meet, but time goes on and things change.

Keep Kickin'

DP